Saturday, January 24, 2015

Strawberry Swing

Lays of Mystery, Imagination, and Humor Number 1

I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And each damp thing that creeps and crawls
Went wobble-wobble on the walls.

Faint odours of departed cheese,
Blown on the dank, unwholesome breeze,
Awoke the never ending sneeze.

Strange pictures decked the arras drear,
Strange characters of woe and fear,
The humbugs of the social sphere.

One showed a vain and noisy prig,
That shouted empty words and big
At him that nodded in a wig.

And one, a dotard grim and gray,
Who wasteth childhood's happy day
In work more profitless than play.

Whose icy breast no pity warms,
Whose little victims sit in swarms,
And slowly sob on lower forms.

And one, a green thyme-honoured Bank,
Where flowers are growing wild and rank,
Like weeds that fringe a poisoned tank.

All birds of evil omen there
Flood with rich Notes the tainted air,
The witless wanderer to snare.

The fatal Notes neglected fall,
No creature heeds the treacherous call,
For all those goodly Strawn Baits Pall.

The wandering phantom broke and fled,
Straightway I saw within my head
A vision of a ghostly bed,

Where lay two worn decrepit men,
The fictions of a lawyer's pen,
Who never more might breathe again.

The serving-man of Richard Roe
Wept, inarticulate with woe:
She wept, that waiting on John Doe.

"Oh rouse", I urged, "the waning sense
With tales of tangled evidence,
Of suit, demurrer, and defence. "

"Vain", she replied, "such mockeries:
For morbid fancies, such as these,
No suits can suit, no plea can please."

And bending o'er that man of straw,
She cried in grief and sudden awe,
Not inappropriately, "Law!"

The well-remembered voice he knew,
He smiled, he faintly muttered "Sue!"
(Her very name was legal too. )

The night was fled, the dawn was nigh:
A hurricane went raving by,
And swept the Vision from mine eye.

Vanished that dim and ghostly bed,
(The hangings, tape; the tape was red happy
'Tis o'er, and Doe and Roe are dead!

Oh, yet my spirit inly crawls,
What time it shudderingly recalls
That horrid dream of marble halls!
- Lewis Carroll, "The Palace of Humbug"

14 comments:

  1. A Dodgson gem not known to me till now! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. In a mood for more disciplined nonsense?

    Try this relic from my boyhood:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvt4b_qwC_Q

    ReplyDelete
  3. ____ A Femme Fatale Reformed _____



    Her comments were really quite ane,

    Though her morals were known to maculate.

    She was sipid and sidious and sane

    But mune to the comments quite draculate



    Which trilled that her conduct was peccable.

    She thought her behavior quite ferior

    But flagrante delicto is wreckable

    E'en to those who believe they are superior.



    For a time this domitable daughter

    Insisted on staying cognito

    Her hibitions flowed freely as water

    From Montauk to Sausoleto.



    The results of this all were too effable

    Her friends forgot she was ane

    They thought she was merely laughable

    Which caused her considerable pain.



    "Enough of this!" she said one night

    The future still is evitable

    I haven't yet begun to fight

    To prove I'm not a vegetable



    So petuously did this dam-ned dame

    Set out in search of iquity

    To make her imical once again

    For righteous ubiquity



    Now that she's become dolent, they're dignant.

    She's just a dividual now,

    But free from the scarlet pigment 

    That once stained her ferior brow.



    ~ FreeThinke (1963)

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Passion of Our Lord
    (Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle)

    Lord Jesus Christ has come to town
    a riding on a donkey
    The Romans saw a challenge
    tried of Him to make a monkey.

    Hail! King Jesus of the Jews
    riding on a burro
    Shout hosannas loud today
    then crucify tomorrow.


    Jesus took His followers
    into the Upper Room
    He fed them on His body and blood
    and told them of His doom.

    Then to Dark Gethsemane
    a praying in the garden
    Begging of His father
    from His bitter cup to pardon.


    Peter, faithless, thrice denied
    that His Lord he kneweth
    Judas kissed Him in betrayal
    evil from him speweth.

    “Hail, King Jesus of the Jews!”
    shouted in derision
    Drag your cross to Golgotha
    that is the crowd’s decision.


    Then they crowned Him cruelly
    with strands of pyrocanthus,
    Nailed Him to the dogwood tree
    which broke His feet and hands thus.

    Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
    only said, “Forgive them”
    Of the crowd and soldiers wild’
    who knew not He’d outlive them.


    After tortures barbarous
    He said, “I have a thirst.”
    They only gave Him vinegar
    which really was the worst.

    Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
    then gave up the Ghost
    Broken and defamed, reviled
    just like a Friar’s Roast!


    Then, they laid Him in a tomb
    with all the Marys weeping
    She who bore him in her womb
    thought He’d be always sleeping.

    But, He showed them three days hence
    when He was resurrected
    That the worst developments
    by faith can be corrected.


    ~ FreeThinke (1994)

    ReplyDelete


  5. ___ Ode on the Recent Banning ___ 
    _ of Public Nudity in San Francisco _


    Oh what's the harm in being nude,
    If no one's viewed while getting screwed?
    Though natural, that would be too crude,
    Even if one's not a prude.

    Every father –– every mother ––
    Possesses one thing –– or another ––
    As does every sister, brother,
    So why the fuss, the muss, the bother?

    As long as brother's made like dad,
    And sister has what mother had,
    There's no call to be sad or mad,
    In fact it should make most feel glad.

    If parts got switched, then there'd be cause
    For consternation –– not applause ––
    So, I guess at least should be one clause
    Or two within a township's laws

    Restricting what may be displayed 
    On side streets, park grounds, on parade,
    In sunshine, rain, in light or shade
    Deterred, not just deferred, delayed.

    For most folks shy away from freaks,
    And soon react with piercing shrieks,
    And then there are the gawking geeks,
    And those who publicly take leaks!

    And then, comparison of size,
    While never wise, engenders sighs,
    Besides, the sight of flabby thighs
    Might gag reflexes energize!

    And so, since mobs are rarely quiet,
    And many fatties will not diet,
    Would-be voyeurs will not buy it.
    So, just stay clothed. Why start a riot?

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are certainly in a boisterous mood, FT!

    I loved the vid AND the poems. My morning has been made, and for that, I am in your debt once more.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A gleeful romp with pure inanity
    Is my defense against insanity.
    Taking life in manner serious
    To my health is deleterious.


    };-)>

    ReplyDelete
  8. So send in the clowns.
    There ought to be clowns.
    Don't bother; they're here.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I met a man upon the stair.
    I knew he wasn't really there.

    I saw him there again today.
    Oh God! I wish he'd go away!


    ~ Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  10. I wish my room had a floor.
    It has four walls and a door,
    but this walking around
    Without touching the ground
    Is getting to be such a bore!


    ~ Dorrie Lappeus

    ReplyDelete
  11. Helo, Dali,! Well hello, Dali,
    I's so nice to see you here where you belong.

    };-)>

    ReplyDelete