CIA Psych Tools

NOTES:
National Security Triangle

-Power
-Influence
-Security

aka Everyday Espionage (how the National Security Triangle relates to Everyday Espionage

-Health (Security)
-Wealth (Power)
-Relationships (Influence)

Ockham's Razor - Hanlon's Razor (Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity) - Conspiracy of Dunces

Conspiracy Theories (Recipe that leads to their creation)

1) Something Factual happens
2) Gap of Info
3) People become suspicious/ skeptical (why? lack of info/ denial)
4) Develop Narrative that closes loop (which others copy cause idea "easy" to steal)

Partial video transcript:

RB:...I'm reflecting on... even when we tell stories in our personal lives, right, what's that saying? That there's three sides to every story, his side, her side, and the truth? That we're always, maybe even unconsciously, bending the story to suit our interest to some extent, right? Depending on who we're telling, when we're telling it, what the purpose of that conversation is, we're going to emphasize certain aspects of the event and de-emphasize others. Is this just part of The Human Condition too? That we can't help but bend, well we have to tell stories as we've established, the story is never going to be a perfect representation of reality so we're always just going to use that wiggle room to kind of bend it to our advantage even if it's unconscious?

AB: What we're talking about here isn't really about uh bending the truth, it's about the human need for connection, right? We are a tribal animal, we're a pack animal, yeah? Yes you're right, that we are more than just animals. We also have a spiritual element, and a philosophical element, but we are still some portion of animal. And without a community, without a pack, we know we will die. And that's why loneliness is such a problem for Americans, for humans, but especially for Americans, right? So when I choose to share a story with you, or when you choose to share a story with me, or we share a story with our audience, we are inherently shaping the story to justify our actions so that we will be accepted. Because we want to be accepted into a community, so that we belong to something. That's the his side and her side, right? His side is telling his story because he wants to be accepted by the other his's and he's listening, right? Her, she's telling a story from her point of view so that she can be accepted by all the other she's hearing the story. And then, you're right, there's the cold hard truth.

What's really fascinating is that the truth is that just telling the truth will build a community on its own. Because that's what so few people get, and what most people are looking for. So what I really respect about what you're doing is that you are telling the truth as you know it, as you've studied it, as you've seen it, as you've practiced it, as you live it, right? That is the truth. It's not your slant, it's not your bias, if anything, your bookshelves are full of books that demonstrate your willingness to try to break yourself out of your personal bias. You are trying to create the truth, because that's what you want. And then you're attracting people who want the truth along with you. I can back someone like that all day long. Because there's enough people out there twisting the truth to try to glorify themselves.

RB: I appreciate you saying that, and I think I am trying to do that, but also running into my own limitations. Like, still finding myself like, not exactly saying it the way I meant to say it? Or, and it's often when you're kind of caught off guard, I found it's like, "Oh, someone asked you a thing, you like, say it real quick." And then you might reflect on it later. I'm like, "Wow, I could have said that differently." I de-emphasize something or emphasize something that was for a reason. So like you detect, I don't know, it's weird when you when you're constantly trying to step outside of yourself and then reevaluate how you acted in a situation. I still find myself just being biased, right? Doing all the things that we're all prone to.

AB: And that's exactly right, we're prone to it. You're prone to it, and I'm prone to it. The difference is, trained people, and you are kind of self-trained here, trained people become aware of that bias. Untrained people are completely blind to their own bias.

---

AB: We're taught at the Agency that everybody has 3 lives. There's a public life, a private life, and a secret life.

The public life is the life that you're talking about right now. We emphasize our strengths, we obfuscate our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities, we try to make ourselves look stronger than we are, more courageous than we are, smarter than we are, so that we will be accepted. Because that's the Persona we want to project to others. It's something that we do unconsciously. It's something that we're conditioned to do from childhood. Because that's just the way human beings connect and collaborate, right? We want to look attractive to others.

RB: So that's all of our public life.

AB: Everybody who's a friend, everybody who's an associate, everybody who's a who's a professional connection, they're all part of your public life.

But then you have a private life, too. Now your private life is for a much smaller group of people, right? Intimate friends, intimate family. If in your public life people think that you're super smart, in your private life they know that your breath actually smells. They know that you're lactose intolerant, right? They know that you have a weird patch of hair that grows on your lower back, right? Your intimate family, your kids, your wife, your.. you know whatever, your parents, they know that about you. But that's okay, because they're part of your private life or they can see through the public life and know who you are, in private.

But then we still have a third life, a secret life. And inside that secret life, we may never let anyone in. We may only let one or two people in. In that secret life is where our shame lives. It's where our guilt lives. It's where those Secrets live and insecurities. The things that you and I have done, that we know we've done that we've never told anybody, ever. And there's many more of those Secrets than any of us have ever cared to remember. Even as we say this, if you tell somebody one of those Secrets, you're letting them into your secret life. Now, what CIA tells us is so powerful about this, is that once you let someone into your secret life, you never let them out. So you can move someone from public life into private life, and if they disappoint you, or let you down, or..., you can move them back to public life, right? They go back and forth. Well, when you move someone from private life to secret life, and you share that level of vulnerability with them, even if you're mad at them, disappointed by them, don't trust them, you never really let them out of your secret life.

So Espionage is a game of getting people to let you into their secret life. Because then you gain all the leverage. You gain all the power. You know that they've been cheating on their wife since they were married three years. You know that they have two illegitimate kids. You know that they're secretly addicted to cocaine. You know that they love child pornography. You know whatever it is. You know their secrets in their secret life, and they can't help but trust you because you are the only other person carrying the burden of those Secrets.

And when someone else carries the burden of your secrets, you're intrinsically connected to that.

RB: And that's why you can't remove them.

AB: Because their loyalty to you is unending.

RB: And then once you have gained access to their secret life, you have the dirt on them, presumably. That's a very high Leverage, possession, or control mechanism.

AB: Right. We call it coercion, it's a tool called coercion.

Now coercion is the weakest of all tools to use, which is why when you get the dirt, the most valuable thing to understand is that you never want to exploit the dirt. What you always want to do is sell them the "hope behind the dirt", right? Like, "I know you've got a problem with opioids. I know you're addicted to opioid and I know you've been hiding it from the whole world, and one day, together, we're gonna get you past it. But today, you need to perform. And you need your opioid identity, right? So today, I need you to go and have this meeting, and get this secret, and come back and bring it to me so that we can change the world. And we're not going to do that if we start cleaning you up today."

RB: So is that part of the Espionage game then, it's to get into their secret world, know that weak point or point of high leverage, and then you just press that point to inspire the behaviors that suit your interest, or your boss's interest, I guess?

AB: That's not part of the game, that is the game. That is what makes a spy worth the $2.5 million dollars of training that they get. To learn how to do that systematically and predictably, with any culture, any gender, any age, any level of Education.

RB: That's incredible. Well, that sounds like some cool schooling, too.

AB: It's super cool schooling, it's a great it's a great tool to have, and it serves in business and in the commercial world, too. Because people still have Secret Lives. And when when a client lets you into their secret life for any reason, their secret fears, or shame, or guilt about their business, or their shame, or their fears about failing their family. When they let you in, when you can help them through that, when you can make them stronger, when you can make them more courageous, they love you for it. And, you're improving the productivity of them, and their business and at their own business a part of, and the country that you're in.

RB: And the Legacy that you're leaving, I'm just gonna say, because to gain access to someone's secret life also sounds like deep, best friendship. Or something you'd want with a your significant other. So, it doesn't. It's weird, that the game of Espionage is to gain access to that secret life. But that's also The Game of Love, right? Between friends, or between romantic partners, that you want to have someone that you can divulge, or invite into, that secret life. And be invited into their secret life.

AB: Right, you want it, but at the same time, if we're being honest with each other, we kind of don't, right? When I sit across from My Wife and she's having a hard day, I love my wife, I don't really want to be part of tha, right? She's got all sorts of secret life drama going on. She's got stuff coming up from her childhood. She's got, you know, grief from her grandmother dying. And she's got guilt about being a mom. And I'm like, "Oh, you know what, I'm really comfortable in the private life," or "I know you have guilt, and grief, and shame, and fear, but I really don't want to be part of it right now," right? And that's really what the Game of Love tends to be. And that's why we have a crazy 52% divorce rate, or something like that, right? Because we don't really, actually want anyone in our secret life. And we really don't want to put the investment into being part of somebody else's secret life, so then, because the ROI isn't there, right?

RB: Are you then also trained, if you're trained to infiltrate the secret lives of others, are you also trained to prevent infiltration of your own secret life?

AB: Absolutely, the tool that we use for that is something called "Know, Like, Trust (KLT)."

So there's a process in which you meet somebody, right? When you don't know somebody, they're a stranger to you. You're, they're out. You never have to worry about that person gaining access to your secret life.

So, then you meet the person, now that's the "Know", the K in KLT, the Know in Know, Like, Trust. Now you know the person exists. But knowing the person exists doesn't necessarily mean you Like them. So, over time you realize you have things in common, you think the same way, you have, you know, similar ideals, you grew up in similar households, whatever else. Over time, you start to develop a liking for somebody. This is where things get dangerous because as you learn to like somebody you absolutely naturally, and unintentionally, slip into trusting them. Anybody who's ever been let down anybody, who's ever trusted somebody that didn't deserve their trust, knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's very easy to fall into a pattern of not knowing someone exists, and then you know them, and then you get along really great, and you like them. And before you know it, you act in ways where you trust them even though you have no reason to trust them.

That's Know, Like, Trust.

Well, what we're trained as CIA operatives is that when Know, Like, Trust happens quickly, that's a big red flag that you're dealing with somebody who's trained. Because a trained person can get you through KLT in an immense amount of time. The average time it takes for a CIA officer to get into the secret life of a Target is nine months. For especially hard targets, like the, the people who are, who inherently distrust Americans, or inherently distrust the United States, that process becomes more like 15 to 18 months. But that's our system. We know how frequently, how often, what to talk about, what to bring up things. Like what to bring up, what to push on so that we can get into a Target's secret life within nine months.

Most engagements last more than 12 months. Most dating relationships exceed two years, right? So, I mean, that's three years from meeting to marriage, on average. And people still aren't in each other's secret life.

RB: Wow, then are you, I guess you end up with this inner sanctum of Secret Life, as a trained covert operative, to just, it never, you'd never connect that, with anyone else in the world.

AB: Or, when you do, it's a very intentional choice, right? Like my wife is a former CIA officer. I trust my wife explicitly. I trust her implicitly. I trust her completely. I still have things I would never never tell her. Well, and she knows that, and she understands that because when I tell her that there are secret life topics that I don't want to share with her. She knows that those must be so [ __ ] dark, so shameful, so significant, that it's going to negatively impact her to even hear about them. So, she's okay not being. So she doesn't cry. She doesn't try to ask what was it. Know, Like, Trust. Know-Like-Trust she doesn't try to infiltrate. She knows that I trust her already, right? And I trust her enough to tell her, "You don't [ __ ] want to know about that, right?