And by a prudent flight and cunning save A life which valour could not, from the grave. A better buckler I can soon regain, But who can get another life again? Archilochus

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Fear of Lightness?

Slavoj Žižek, "Throwing the Baby and facing the dirty water"
I've always been disgusted by the custom of sharing the main dishes in a Chinese restaurant.

Recently, when I expressed this disgust and insisted on finishing my plate on my own, I became the victim of an ironic "stray psychoanalysis" from my desk neighbor:
Wasn't this disgust, this resistance to sharing food, exactly the symbolic expression of the fear of sharing a sexual partner, that is, the fear of lightness?
The first answer that came to my mind was, of course, a variation of Quincey's warning against the "art of murder" – the real source of intimidation is not lightweight, but sharing Chinese food:
Many people who took the path of sin by participating in an innocent group of sexes that they did not care much about at that time ended up sharing the main dishes in the Chinese restaurant as a result!
(Enjoy Your Symptom)

The humor of the [quoted above] joke is to reverse the standard relationship between superficial excuse and unacknowledged desire: Sometimes the real challenge is to be able to confess the superficial value of appearance—we invent multiple fantasizing scenarios just to obscure it with "deep meanings."

Perhaps my "real desire," that is, what my refusal to share Chinese food expresses, is that I am fascinated by the fantasy of group sex.

Even so, the real point is this: This fantasy that structures my desire is always a defense against my "mouth" impulse (oral drive), it is this mouth impulse that drives me completely...

Here we find the exact equivalent of the following example given by Darian Leader:

The man who went to the restaurant with his girlfriend said to the waiter, "Table for two, please!" instead of saying, "Two-person bedroom, please!"

We must reverse the standard Freudian explanation that says, "Surely the man's mind was on the sex he planned to have at night after dinner!"

The intervention of this sexual fantasy from the stranger is always a defense mechanism that obscures the mouth impulse that the man actually cares more about.

(Universal Exception)

The purpose of psychoanalytic treatment is not to pour dirty water and keep the baby safe, that is, to get rid of symptoms, morbid tics and keep the healthy Ego core safe, but rather to throw away the baby and confront the patient with "dirty water", that is, to suspend the patient's Ego and confront him with symptoms and fantasies that structure his arbitrariness.

(Fantasy Epidemic)

Turkish: Işık Barış Fidaner

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